best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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