I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
