Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
