It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
