Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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