I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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