Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
