Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
