I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
