I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
