I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
