bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
