we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize