Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
