Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
