My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
