Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
