i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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