just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
