My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
