Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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