I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
