I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
