I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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