omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
