I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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