I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
