but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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