Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
