sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
