Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
