The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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