remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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