does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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