Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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