Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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