thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Randomize
