I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
