I must be too annoying 4 u.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize