You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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