I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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