yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
