Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
