Sry I called you an 8
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
