I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
