At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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