I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
