I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
