The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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