seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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