Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
