i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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