i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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