just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
