I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
