once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize