I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
