So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize