Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
