just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
