i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
