i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
