Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
