i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
