so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
