walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
